HEJ! Jag heter Pamela. Mitt motto är "rädsla är inte min grej". Jag är rädd mest hela tiden. Men det gäller ju att sikta mot stjärnorna. Du är hjärtlig välkommen. Hör av dig på pamela.lindqvist@gmail.com

Sunday, August 17, 2014

En dag i taget.

Alltså det här med missbruk. Jag "glömmer" liksom bort ibland att jag har den sjukdomen. Tänker att jag nog ändå kan bete mig som en vanlig människa kring mat. Att det egentligen inte är så illa. Att jag kanske bara har hittat på alltihopa. Att det bara är att skärpa till mig.

Jag vill ju så gärna vara normal. Kunna äta lite godis ibland. Ta en cigarett när det känns så. Kanske dricka lite vin. Utan att det leder till kaos. Till ett ständigt sug efter mera mera mera. En hjärna som snurrar på högvarv. Och letar flyktvägar. Precis hela tiden.

Det finns inget. Skärpa till sig. När det kommer till beroendesjukdomar. En är för mycket och tusen är inte nog. Och det gäller att påminna sig om det. Varje dag. Varje minut.

Ta upp skammen på bordet. Och konstatera. På nytt. Att det här är en del av mig. Som jag lever med. Ibland i nöd och ibland i lust. En dag i taget. Ibland en minut i taget.


All the love.
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37 comments:

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